Summer camps across the country—across the globe—are being canceled left and right. Yes, the reason is justified. Human life is more valuable than night hikes, beach trips, and cabin songs. But, the cost is still high: so many girls and women of all ages, from five-year-old first-timers to 40-year-old veteran program directors, spend the entire year counting down the days until they can immerse themselves in summer camp life again. Maybe because it’s an opportunity to let their walls down and jump into rivers with other beating hearts that just want to feel shamelessly connected. Or, maybe because it’s their one break in the year from their abusive home life.
We come to crave our special communities for all sorts of reasons.
I sat down with young musician Stella (over the phone, unfortunately, and at least 70 miles away) to talk about her experiences at one such camp, Girls Rock Santa Barbara. She won’t be able to go back to camp this summer as a counselor—none of her friends will. Truthfully, she isn’t sure what comes next for her now. Something that doesn’t change, however, is the fact that her past camp experiences helped equip her with the tools we all need to weather blurred journeys like these.
WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PART ABOUT CREATING MUSIC, OR ART, ARTICLES, PODCASTS—WHATEVER YOU REALLY LIKE CREATING?
I started going to Girls Rock about a year after I moved to the U.S., and it was just really cool. I’d never been to a summer camp before, especially not a music camp, so I was really inspired by seeing different women (in particular) making different music. By making that music myself, I felt super empowered.
I’d never seen myself making music in that way before, but after seeing those role models and having the program set up for me, I felt super inspired to keep going. I haven’t really done podcasts or those other forms. But I felt that making music was really important to growing my confidence in that way.
WHAT KIND OF MUSIC DO YOU LIKE TO LISTEN TO, AND DO YOU THINK THAT THIS CHANGED AT ALL AFTER YOU CAME TO CAMP?
I remember one thing in particular that grew my interest in music was the last time I went. Last summer, we had a little presentation about Motown music and about some of the different girl groups. That was really cool to see. Maybe a couple years before that, we had another presentation about [female] country artists, I believe, and I was just really open about my music tastes.
In terms of music that I listen to in general, I listen to all kinds. I grew up with rock music; when I was in my mother’s belly, she would play me Green Day and that kind of thing, and I would kick around. I’ve always enjoyed that type of music, but I think going to camp has led me to seek out more local rock artists. I love Ramonda Hammer. It’s important to support people at a lower level rather than just listening to popular music sometimes.
HOW DOES IT FEEL FOR YOU TO PERFORM YOUR MUSIC ON STAGE?
For one thing, I’ve always played keys, so I hadn’t really seen a big kind of… In the bands I’d seen on tour, I’d see the guitar players and the lead singers and drummers and that kind of thing rocking out, and I felt like key[boardists] sometimes just have to stand still and look down at the keys, you know? Without that presence. Last year, I started doing vocals, and that was really cool. I really enjoy performing.
I kind of talked about it before: it’s really empowering, and it’s not a judgmental audience when you go to camp, so that’s really sick. In general, I’m a songwriter. I write a lot of songs and poetry and creative writing, and it’s fun to write it for myself, but also it’s a whole other thing sharing it with a bigger audience. Having that impact on people. Just putting yourself out there and seeing what happens with it.
IF YOU CAN NARROW IT DOWN, WHAT DO YOU THINK MADE YOU LAUGH THE HARDEST AT CAMP?
There’s one thing that comes to mind. It wasn’t funny at the time, but looking back at it… I always tell this to everyone. Last year I was an LIT for the first time, and it was maybe 10:00 or 11:00 or something [at night] and we were trying to get everyone to go to bed. These stories started circulating about a man in the woods below the camp here, and we couldn’t get people to sleep until 12ish or something.
The LITs were staying down the hill with the other instructors, so I had to go down in pitch blackness, through the woods, and I was freaking out. I called my dad, and I ran through. It was the scariest thing.
WHAT IS ONE THING THAT YOU PERSONALLY WOULD TELL A PARENT WHO MIGHT BE CONSIDERING SENDING THEIR KID TO THIS CAMP?
When I started, it was really hard at first to open myself up. I was a shy kid and had just moved to America, so I’d not done any of that kind of thing before. Opening myself up to this new group of people to write a song with is this intimate thing. Writing a song and picking the lyrics, even that is just very intimate. With picking chords and keys, people can say, “I don’t like that.” That kind of thing. It can be a bit difficult at first to work together: there can be drama sometimes. But it’s so worth it and it’s so empowering to end up writing that song and performing. I feel like it always works out in the end.
You always get a little bit closer with this group of people, even if it seems hard at first. It’s worth it because you’re learning something, just getting out there and learning something new. That’s one thing I wish I’d done. I’ve been playing keys since the first grade, so, for a while. I wish I’d tried picking up a new instrument because learning something new in a low-stakes environment like that is so rewarding.
THIS NEXT ONE IS KIND OF SIMILAR: WHAT WAS THE SCARIEST PART ABOUT FIRST COMING TO CAMP, AND DO YOU STILL REMEMBER IT AS THE SCARIEST PART WHEN YOU WERE FINALLY AT YOUR LAST DAY OF CAMP?
I kind of touched on it before: I’d never been to a summer camp or anything like that before, and I was a lot more of a shy kid. I’d never been to a music camp before, but I’ve always loved to play piano and that kind of thing. I love to sing, too, but I’d never taken voice classes—I’ve been in a chorus, but I didn’t have a lot of confidence in my music-playing ability.
And on top of that, making friends. I was 12 or 13 at the time and was definitely more shy and wondering if the type of people there would be my type of people. I was worried about making friends and leaving my parents for a week. All those things together. And [of course] I had so much fun that first year. It was really cool.
IF YOU CAN THINK OF ONE (OR A FEW), WHICH INSTRUCTOR OR STAFF MEMBER PARTICULARLY INSPIRED YOU, AND WHY DO YOU THINK THAT IS?
I feel so bad, but I’m completely blanking on her name right now, from Ramonda Hammer… DEVIN, Devin! Definitely Devin. Hearing her band for the first time, and her style of singing, I just love that. I don’t know how to describe it, it’s so unique. And I loved her style and confidence, plus she had been there the entire time I’d been going to camp: it was so inspirational to me. Her being there my entire time at camp made her stick out to me.
There were a bunch of different instructors I worked with last year, and I love all of them. They’re all very inspirational to me in different ways, especially the people from Australia and Brazil, Ireland… they were really cool.
WHO WAS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCHTIME ARTIST?
Oof! From this past year, Ramonda Hammer. And there was this one punk rock group. I love the groups that make you get up and bang your head.
OH HECK YEAH! THE ONES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL WILD.
Yeah, exactly, I love those.
AW, YOU DID LISTEN TO GREEN DAY WHEN YOU WERE IN THE BELLY, DIDN’T YOU?
Yes! Pixies was my first concert. My parents love to tell me that.
HOW DO YOU THINK CAMP HAS BETTER PREPARED YOU FOR, HONESTLY, ANYTHING IN LIFE? FROM GOING TO SCHOOL TO GETTING READY FOR COLLEGE IF THAT HAPPENS TO BE YOUR PATH, YOUR FIRST JOB, YOUR FIRST DATE. WHERE DO YOU FEEL LIKE YOU CARRY CAMP AROUND WITH YOU IN THESE LIFE EVENTS?
Advocating for myself, in big and little ways. Even things like, “Hey, I think this chord would be good for a song.” Girls Rock doesn’t tell you that it’s going to be easy for women to make music. A lot of popular bands are all male. But there have been these historical, amazing girl groups, and people of color making music. They just haven’t always been celebrated or mainstream.
So, encouraging yourself to advocate for yourself, and also being realistic that you have to build each other up. It might not always be easy to follow that kind of path, but making sure that you support local people and focus on your passions.
IF YOU COULD TAKE ONE MOMENT FROM CAMP AND COPY/PASTE IT INTO EVERY DAY OF YOUR LIFE, WHICH MOMENT WOULD YOU PICK?
I remember, in my first or second year, playing the piano. Playing songs that everyone knew and everyone could sit around a sing. Or playing the ukulele my first year, and everyone would sit down and sing together. There’s a bunch of random little moments.
I remember in my first year, everyone did this thing where they would have sweatpants on and pull them up over their arms, then put swimming goggles on and walk around and call themselves ostriches… I still have pictures on my phone. It was this really weird community moment.